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November 11, 2015

Everything You Need to Know About Last Night’s 2016 Fox Business Republican Debate

Did you miss last night’s GOP presidential debate on Fox Business? Then you also missed CAFE’s live tweeting!

Following is a quick rundown of what we had to say in real time last night:

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/664258388549697536

After the disastrous CNBC debate last time around, Fox Business vowed to make sure that none of the questions triggered the 2016 Republican presidential candidates. And they sure delivered on their promise.

The highlight of the “kiddie table” debate was easily recently-demoted candidate Chris Christie’s China cyber warfare fantasies. No one would mess with a President Christie though!

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/664280224893374464

Our very own expert political analyst Carl Diggler was ready to go.

The night’s debate was mostly focused on jobs, which Carly Fiorina knows a thing or two or 30,000 about.

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/664267084420030464

It also covered the U.S. economy at large, which Ted Cruz made clear where he stands…with the American people, duh.

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/664288858272493569

One of the most heated moments of the night came when Marco Rubio and Rand Paul went at it over military spending and tax credits.

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/664278567937798144

Who won that exchange? Well, it depends on how long (30 years, for example) you’ve been a Beltway thought leader.

Perhaps one of the oddest moments of the night was when Ted Cruz, discussing entitlement reform, said he “wouldn’t push his mother off a cliff.” We are sure Ben Carson took the line quite literally.

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/664271661324193792

Speaking of Ben Carson, it’s a bit odd how not a single candidate on the stage last night went after the current Republican front runner. In fact, this fictionalized account (below) is probably the closest Donald Trump, or any of them for that matter, came to even acknowledging the doctor’s very existence.

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/664283097521922048

Some candidates, like woke Diggler’s sister from another mister, came out swinging like a slay queen…

…and others like the depressed clump of human flesh, Jeb! Bush, barely came out of the debate alive.

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/664262260571828224

Really, it was quiteΒ sad to watch Jeb! Bush get owned over and over again by Donald Trump. The eccentric billionaire literally told the brother of the president who kept us safe to shut up and this sad, pathetic excuse for a man actually listened.

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/664285097600884736

This really super informative and analytical word cloud from Fox Business should sum the rest of the night up for you.

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/664282305725206528

Some will say the repetitive Marco Rubio (did you know his father was a bartender?) came out of the debate as the big winner…

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/664284833334497281

…others will say the big winner was Rick Perry. Oops. Sorry, we mean Ted Cruz.

https://twitter.com/cafedotcom/status/664299983781429249

But to any lightly buzzed Beltway insider of 30 years who paid any sort of attention to the two debates last night, Rick Santorum was the obvious choice and clear-cut winner.

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