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January 8, 2016

FRIDAY MAILBAG: Answering Your Questions on Hillary’s Emails, Bubba’s Sexual History & Obama’s Tears

Hola, Digheads and Digettes! It’s Friday, and you know what that means. Time to let your hair down, pick up a strong drink or three, and listen to me answer your pressing questions. But before I do, let me give a shout-out to my new Twitter Tweeps, Elsie Snuffin, Will Bailey, and Admiral Fitzwallace. You may have heard of them: they’re characters from my all-time favorite TV show The West Wing, which I channeled in yesterday’s column.

In light of North Korea’s nuclear bomb test, your song today is a classic in World Music:

Now on to your questions!

Dig, with allegations of Bill Clinton’s sexual misconduct up to and including rape resurfacing, how do you think this affects Hillary going into Iowa?

– Cliff in Des Moines, IA

Cliff, this has suddenly become the most interesting storyline of the primary: will Hillary testify against Bill in exchange for immunity in her multiple email-and-Sid Blumenthal-related felonies? Now, spouses are not compelled to testify against each other, but the probable 20-to-life sentence that Hillary is facing may render that irrelevant. One thing’s for certain: 2016 ends with a Clinton transferring their foundation’s bank data to commissary!

Obama cried the other day! What do you think this says about politics going into 2016?

– Geoff in Corpus Christi, TX

Geoff, when I was growing up, I had the idea that men don’t cry — that that’s for women and children. And I especially thought my father, Colonel Dig, didn’t cry. All that changed the day William Calley was convicted. It was a shocking thing for three-year-old me, but it showed me crying isn’t silly. It’s not for girls, or little pink bellied kids, or babies. When adults cry, it’s because something matters to them that much. And that, Geoff, is a pretty damn alpha thing to do. It’s hard to care in this world, and it takes someone with an iron constitution to do it. Good on President Obama.

Howdy, Dig! Or should I say, President Jed Bartlet? ;P From one Sorkaniac to another, I loved yesterday’s column even more than usual! In fact, it got me wondering: maybe your normally-busy schedule has cleared up enough for you to hop on the light rail to New Jersey, grab a couple brewskis, and watch some classic episodes of Sports Night on my Blu-Ray. I promise I’ll keep myself from finishing hotshot young co-anchor Daniel “Dan” Rydell’s classic zingers! Now that’s one New Years’ Resolution I can get behind!

P.S. Maybe you and your new West Wing Twitter buds can give a follow back to my parody account of Ricky Tahoe, former co-executive producer of Studio 60 (of the Sunset Strip fame!).

– David “The Milk” Milkberg in Essex Co., NJ

Sports Night? SPORTS NIGHT? Goddamn it, David, could you be any more obtuse? When have I ever ONCE intimated that I’m interested in sports? I’m a professional political journalist for cripe’s sake, so I clearly enjoy Aaron Sorkin’s higher works about Washington intrigue on a level far beyond what you’re capable of.

And do NOT think about messing with the special relationship I enjoy with my new West Wing Tweeps. We’re out there continuing Mr. Sorkin’s legacy, and you’ll probably muck it up like you always do. If you must participate in the network of West Wing roleplay accounts, you need to show some damned respect and start with a fourth-tier tertiary character. You don’t get to just waltz in and make a White House Press Secretary and later Chief of Staff C.J. Miller parody account. You start as someone like Ross Kassenbach, Ambassador to Micronesia from season 1 episode 21, and you work your way up. Respect the process, David.

Carl “The Dig” Diggler has covered national politics for 30 years, and is the author of “Think-ocracy: The Rise Of The Brainy Congressman”. Got a question for the Dig? E-mail him at [email protected] or Tweet to @carl_diggler.